“I care”

“I care about you. You are of great value to me.”

  • I care about you; I love you; I would do anything for you, why aren’t you reciprocating my actions why don’t you care about me why why why ; I give my all to you and expect that you will do the same; I value you and I care about you for what you can do for me later
  • I care about you; I care about your dreams and hopes and personal ideas and philosophies and respect them; I love the things you do, and how you motivate me to continue forward and I don’t mind giving my all to help you; I appreciate you for who you are

There’s a difference, and no matter what backstory you have, one of these is less acceptable than the other.


What bugs me about TITP

Mainly the mods and what they let through.

For instance, there was a story about a girl who describes herself as overweight, posting about thin privilege going to those who actually were diagnosed with anorexia, while no matter how hard she tried, the doctors would not give her that diagnoses based on the actual written weight limit symptom.

From what I know, the north american mental disorder manual (dsm-iv tr) sets as one of its criteria / symptoms that someone must be 85% of the average expected weight or lower to be diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. Otherwise, if all symptoms are present without the weight symptom, the dsm has a catchall category for it, “ednos”; eating disorder not otherwise specified. From my knowledge, and heated discussion in class about validity and reliability about the manual, this “–nos” category occurs in many different mental disorder categories, including personality disorders and psychotic disorders, and for personality disorders it’s even the most commonly diagnosed.

This is the failure of the manual, mainly because research just hasn’t been enough to answer a lot of questions about mental disorders.

You know what, if this girl feels insulted that her own diagnoses is a catchall category, I woulda understand that. But while at first I would have accepted that as a fact of oppression, on the point that these set symptoms and catchall categories exist in almost every category, it’s not intentionally discrimination against fat people. In fact, to be honest, most OPs would consider me as “thin” because I am on the border of 17/ 18 bmi (underweight + normal weight), and I would still receive the ednos diagnosis.

From this disadvantaged viewpoint, I could only partially agree with the term of oppression, but not fat oppression, because it first of all does not specifically attack or discriminat fat people, but instead isolated the group in greatest physical danger of death and puts them at a higher priority than others. Is being in this “not priority group” now oppression ? You know what, ill leave that up for debate.

What bugged me most that this wasn’t a post about fat oppression. This was a post about thin privilege. Let me illustrate why one is not equivalent to the other with the example of anorexia. While there is debatable disadvantage for fat people, which is hereby loosely defined as being above that weight limit and thus receiving the ednos diagnosis (incredibly bad definition), it does not mean that the remaining population is privileged. At below 85% weight, these people face physical complications much more serious. To construe the acknowledgment that they have their own name in mental illness categories  such that these individuals are privileged and thus have it better, I think, is outrageously disrespectful.

The mods need to adhere to their guidelines and leave those with mental illnesses alone, instead of putting them in a spotlight and telling them that they have privilege.

They do have the argument “fat people starve too and that is dangerous” but they close to never explain or support it further with anything. If anything, the dsm v is coming out soon and other groups have spoken and potentially influenced placement and existence of certain disorders. If titp would just aim their energy at goals that made an actual difference, like questioning the validity of the categorical system of diagnosis restrictive eating disorders, and proposing instead a feasible dimensional one, I think this cause would actually go someplace rather than just sit there and harass other innocent or even differently oppressed people.

I could blame the world for being cruel or I could perceive it otherwise.

No, it is not self deception, because what I saw and felt first, or what society usually sees and feels about things, may not be the truth.

Remember that.